Sunday, 11 December 2011

Chuck Norris Facts

I just came across these "Chuck Norris facts" through Google. I know this is a non-political post, but these things are so funny that I've gotta post them. Here are a few of my favorites:

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Here's my attempt at a Chuck Norris fact relating to the Ohio Governor's race: Remember the Jim Petro ad that started off by saying "What does god expect of us?" It should've said "What does Chuck Norris expect of us?"

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1 comment:

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